The truth

The truth is... I don't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to approach people. I don't know how to not be passive. I don't know how to not be shy. Even to people I am extremely close to.

I know I seem like the complete opposite to many people out there. I know I'm sometimes even the one who initiates outing. I know once I see you, I am nothing like I describe myself to be.

But it's true. I am an introvert through and through. I don't like to interact with people. I don't like to have to talk. I don't like to be active. I don't like to have to make the first move to talk to people unless it is absolutely necessary for me to do so. I like to stay in my little comfort bubble.

I guess this is also the reason behind my losing (or close to losing) of some of the most treasured friendships I have in my life.

I honestly, honestly miss a few people in my life right now. I really really miss them. But I honestly, honestly don't know how to approach them anymore. I can only see their names flash past me on Twitter, Facebook, my phone, Blogger, Tumblr and wish I had the guts to talk to them.

Cuz once I start, I would have broken that barrier.

It sucks. It sucks big time.

I want to break out of it. But it's so hard. It's so difficult.

And I need to breathe. And I'm tired.

Toodles.