The younger we were, the less conscious we were about our weight. Who really cares if you were fat... Heck. You were probably cuter when you were fatter.
But as we progressively grow old, weight becomes a large issue. You become wary of how people see you, how people would judge you if you just had that little stitch of fat in you. I, like many other girls in the world, struggle with my weight on a daily basis.
It scares me whenever I step on a weighing scale and realize my weight increased or is still constant. Each day, I look at food and tell myself I am not supposed to eat them because I should be losing weight. And society does not permit for me to stay the size I am. Each day, I get people telling me that my tummy is sticking out or that I am gaining weight. And frankly speaking, as carefree as I might sound about it, my weight bothers me... A whole fucking lot.
I have to say that I don't think I am exactly fat, fat. But it's the fats that's on me that bothers me. The fact that I have a tummy bothers me. The fact that I have slightly larger thighs bothers me. The fact that I have flabby arms bothers me. The fact that people look at me and see me as someone fatter than the average girl bothers me.
The fact that society cannot accept my weight bothers me.
But you know what, recently... I've started being less obsessed with my weight. Because, seriously... What is the fucking point of keeping yourself skinny when it probably means that you will have to give up most of your favorite food?
I honestly... Rather eat all I want during my lifetime than regret when I am old and about to die. I rather lead a short and unhealthy life than a long and exhausting life. I rather be fit than skinny and unhealthy.
Saying that though, I will still exercise. I will still eat healthily but I will not give up my favorite foods (Probably in moderation or something)... I will stop being so obsessed with my weight in kilograms. I will stop basing my self worth on the scale. I will stop letting my confidence level dip as I see skinny girls walk on the runway. I will stop wanting to be skinny... Because let's just face it, I will just want to be skinnier anyway. I will never be pleased with my size, so why try?
As a matter of fact, I don't see how being size 0 will make you the happiest girl on earth. You will probably want to become negative...
Toodles.
2 comments:
the standards of beauty are cultural, and i was informed by some african friends that having a huge ass and thick thighs and arms are beautiful there. in china during yang guifei's time and in classical greece, a full bodied woman is a beautiful woman. personally, i'm partial to a woman that's filled in a little rather the sickly looking model archetypes we see in magazines - but i must confess I find outright fatness off-putting. i dislike rotund woman the same way i dislike skinny chicks; both look unhealthy.
while it's probably not a good idea to gauge yourself in kilograms, the BMI (body mass index) is probably your best measure. it's your weight in kilos, divided by your height in metres twice (weight divided by height, then divide the answer by height again). u can get the interpretation of values from the wiki page but keep in mind that since you're asian, you should minus 1.5 from all values.
:)
Hey, take it easy on yourself.
This coming from someone who's trying to lose weight as well:
Don't worry about your weight. Age and weight are just numbers. If you think it counts, well, it will. It's all in your head.
It gets frustrating when I hit the gym for two weeks straight and I've only lost a kilo of weight. But hey, it's progress. But realise, the finer point of losing weight is not to look good, it's to be healthy.
By the sounds of things, you should try taking better care for your body. Better sleeping times, lots of water, and having friends to do some sort of aerobic sport will do you lots of good!
Take it with a pinch of salt. ;)
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