Anyway, I digress. There's been a lot of thoughts stuck in my mind lately. I used to translate them better but lately it just gets stuck. I guess there's just a lot of negative thoughts that I think should stay in so that they don't hurt anyone.
Recently, I've came to realize that there's much to life than what I've previously thought it was. Normally I have a set plan. At 1PM I will eat lunch, at 5PM I will go for tuition and the likes of it. But recently I've realized that life should not be planned. It's tiring to plan because someone else will just spoil it. And life doesn't go according to plans. There are always cock ups and sometimes you can do nothing about these failure in plans. I mean it's not like you can always prevent it. Half the time, it's ... Unforeseen circumstances.
I wish I could speak my mind more often. But more often than not, I guess people wouldn't appreciate my thoughts.
I kind of like being alone. It's therapeutic. But liking to be alone does not equate to liking to be lonely. I've been feeling really lonely lately. It's the worst feeling ever. I don't feel like I have someone that I can relate to these days because everyone is just too busy. I am too. And it's bagging me down.
My life is finally slowing down... I cannot wait to be in Phi Phi. I cannot wait to actually leave this place for a short getaway to recharge myself before my internship which is heading my way way too soon.
I guess this has been a really wordy and broken post. My thoughts are all over. But this is exactly how I feel right now. A structured mess.
Toodles.
5 comments:
Your secret admirer,
Yoz, reading your post reminds me of the time when I was down and lonely. For a period of time, i struggled with this thought, " Go alone, come alone"
I guess we are in the stage where we need to be constantly surrounded by companions. Well, sadly for us, they can never be 24/7. I guess what keeps me away from my all these emotional mess, is being fixed unto what I want to to do in life. My dreams and aspirations? Friends only meet your social and belongingness needs.
What you need to find is your something in life that will "awe" you. Somethings, that keeps you going. Somethings that will keep your striving for it. And at the end of the day, achieving it meets your highest need of actualisation.
For me, it's my academic achievement. Dream, eat, and talk about it. Well, try turn your mess into a structured future. ^^
Hahahaha. This sounds like Johann. Is that you Jo?
Secret admirer,
No. Im the stalker who stalks u on facebook, twitter, school, home, toliet. haha!
Shhhyeee. How u know?! Whhich sentence did wrote to blow my coveR? haha!
hahahahaha. Every sentence blew your cover! Remember I used to edit your work? hahaha. i know the way you write one lor. hehe.
CLEVER NOT???!
Secret Admirer,
Sianz. My english really that bad?
No change since last time ar?
Oh well, I found out my root mistake of my bad english.
Ai. U stoppin emo-ing can? Especially at night lar. either go slp or keep urself occupied. Morningz, is coming soon. And will be a bright Cheerful day!
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