This is going to be about my private life so it could come across as slightly emotional but bear in mind that I am nowhere near "emo" now so spare me from the talk.
I stood in the train today holding the boyfriend. All along, there was only 1 thought in my mind. How to make ends meet this month. I might be only 19 but I provide for myself because I don't think it's right to take anymore money from your parents when you are in possession of the ability to earn money.
Unknowingly, my tears fell thinking about how to make ends meet. I don't earn a lot from tuition-ing because I often undercharge. I like to think that tuition-ing is not really about earning money for me but rather, making sure that kids of the future get the right quality of education. I make myself sound so noble, but trust me I am not. I just don't like the idea of stupid kids.
While I was crying on the boyfriend's shoulders, all I could think about was WHY. Why did my life turn out to be like this when I was given birth to as a fortunate person? Why did the fortune not last? Why can't I be like the other girls out there partying all night long? How did life turn out to be like that?
All these while, the boyfriend was just stroking my hair and massaging my neck (kind of). And after awhile I stopped crying and looked up at him to smile. Part of it was out of gratitude because of his undying determination to love me and part of it was because I realize I don't ever want to be beaten by life.
So what if life is getting too hard? I will be able to cross any obstacles because I have went through so much in life already.
I view many as brats and have respect for little. I don't view myself as superior. But honestly, some people out there need to experience these sort of hardship to finally realize the true meaning of pain and realize the importance of money as well as kinship.
Life lessons like these, you will never be able to buy with money.
Toodles.
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