But disappointment, as bad as it sounds, makes you grow up without giving you so much as a choice. You are forced to slowly stand up and gradually grow. You are forced to see who's good, who's bad and who's simply not set to stay in your life. You are forced to think deeper and harder. You are forced to not trust easily. You are forced to always think about the negatives before you think about the positives. You are forced to think before you act. You are forced to not make promises unless you're sure you can carry them out.
And you are forced to walk around with a permanent facade.
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Which reminds me. I don't believe anyone can exist in this world without a facade, a front. I don't believe that anyone in this world can exist showing themselves, their true selves to the world. Lifting their hearts in their palms and offering it for sacrifice. Offering it to the rest of the world to be hurt. I don't believe that such a person has ever existed in this world.
I believe that everyone needs that extra bit of protection - much like a condom - to prevent themselves from getting hurt or getting diseases of the heart.
I believe that growing up was never a happy or sacred process. It's a process of much pain and tears because there's so much more about this ugly world that you'll have to know once you start growing. With each passing day, you see more and more pieces of the ugly world. And one day, sadly, you become a part of it. You participate in being ugly.
It's a sad, sad world.
But I am moving on, with a heavy heart filled with disappointment.
Toodles.
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