Ambiguous post

Whenever the night draws close, it always dawns on me just how lonely I am. It's sad but I hardly have any friends at all. I hardly have anyone I can call a friend at all. It's tiring. I get surrounded by huge crowds of people all day... But out of all these people... who can I truthfully call as a friend? Who... do I actually know?

I am claustrophobic because crowds make me feel intensely lonely. It makes me feel like I am alone, which is probably true. But crowds amplify this kind of loneliness. It's a whole new feeling that makes me anxious. It makes me break out in cold sweat like the coward I am.

And I am a coward. I dare not do anything....

My mother is now crying in the next room.

I am heartbroken.

Toodles.